THE SHITTY LEADERSHIP SERIES - FREE SHIT TO READ

Swipe Left on Your Leadership Style: What Dating Apps, Ghosting, and Grandiose Egos Have in Common

There’s a strange, almost poetic overlap between shitty leadership and the joyful dumpster fire that is the world of online dating. On both fronts, we’ve got inflated egos, dishonest intentions, emotional projection, and a complete inability to manage expectations — not to mention a truly breathtaking lack of self-awareness.

Let’s just name the cow in the room: most dating apps — gay, straight, or whatever mix of both you claim when it suits your profile — were built for one primary reason: sex. We can argue it, rationalize it, or dress it up in “just looking for good conversation,” but that’s like calling a passive-aggressive leadership email “constructive feedback.”

Still, some folks go rogue. They log on for friendship, validation, attention, emotional venting, collecting pictures, or some elusive sense of connection — not unlike how shitty leaders use their team to feel important, fish for praise, or avoid their own emotional baggage by micromanaging yours.

“Looking for Something Real”… Like Your Leadership?

You’ve seen the profile:

“No hook-ups. Looking for something real.”
Real what? Real dysfunction? Real delusion? Real disappointment wrapped in a filtered selfie and a paragraph of contradictions?

It’s the same energy you get from shitty leaders who swear they want “open, honest dialogue” — until you actually give it to them. Then you’re suddenly “not a team player,” or worse, not “aligned with the culture.”

Spoiler: they don’t want authenticity — they want agreeable compliance with a side of ego fluffing.

Ghosting Isn’t Just for the Apps Anymore

If you think ghosting is unique to dating, you’ve clearly never tried to get feedback from a disengaged manager. The minute things get uncomfortable, they vanish — unread Slack messages, no follow-up, MIA from scheduled one-on-ones.

Yet when you take too long to reply? You’re disengaged. You’re unreliable. You’re the problem.

On dating apps, if you don’t respond fast enough, suddenly you’re a flake, a tease, or “one of those people.”
In the workplace, if you don’t instantly validate your manager’s idea, suddenly you’re difficult to work with.

Accountability is apparently optional — unless it’s someone else’s.

Ego Is the Real App You’re Logged Into

Whether it’s in a meeting or on a screen full of filtered photos and vague bios, ego runs the show.

Everyone’s the main character. Everyone thinks they’re above the app — “not like the others” — and yet somehow still on it, refreshing every 12 seconds. Leaders do the same thing: circling the team for validation, believing they’re more evolved than “those other shitty bosses,” while doing the exact same thing in better lighting.

Newsflash: just because you say “Hey I’m self-aware” doesn’t mean you are. Ego thrives in denial. And both work and dating are just mirrors for how willing (or unwilling) you are to actually look at your own reflection.

Projection: It’s Not Just for Film Festivals

“Ugh, people on here are so fake.”
Translation: I didn’t get what I wanted and I’m blaming you for not reading my mind.

“She was so rude in that meeting.”
Translation: She challenged me and I’m not used to that because I’m used to being right.

Whether it's leadership or dating, people love to dump their emotional laundry at your feet, then get offended when you won’t fold it for them.

Why Is Kindness So Bloody Hard?

Seriously. What’s so difficult about saying “Hey, not feeling a connection, but wish you well”?
Or in the workplace: “Appreciate the effort, but let’s go in another direction”?

Why is ghosting easier than basic decency? Why is blocking someone faster than simply… not being an ass?

We treat people like disposable content — swipe, mute, discard. But behind every profile is a person. Behind every team member is someone showing up, hoping they’re not invisible or replaceable. A little kindness goes further than most people realise — but ego rarely shares space with compassion.

Final Thought:

If you're showing up as your worst self — online or at work — the issue might not be the platform. Maybe it’s the ego you refuse to acknowledge. Maybe you’re not leading or dating with honesty; maybe you’re managing your own loneliness through control, expectations, and the false safety of superiority.

Whether you're swiping through potential partners or leading a team of actual humans, try asking yourself:

“Am I here to connect, or am I here to be admired?”

One builds trust.
The other builds turnover.

Swipe!